oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize