is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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