My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
