Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
