No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
