im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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