Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize