I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
