so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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