I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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