And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
