my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
