dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
