how hairy? two words: wookie tits
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
