News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Are we still banned from the library?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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