sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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