ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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