We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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