We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
