i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
