If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize