just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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