i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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