I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
