The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
