He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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