you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
