i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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