So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
