Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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