I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
