i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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