Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
