It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
wanna go halves on a baby?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
