That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
