so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize