I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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