kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
