sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
