you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
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Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
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We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize