So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize