It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
