i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
