new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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