You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize