We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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