we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
