piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
