There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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