Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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