Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize