Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
ok first of all what the fuck
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
