that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
