We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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