I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
