So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
