I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
