When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
