so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize